This is the fourth night in a row that I have spent sleeping on a hospital sofa just a few feet from my mom's bed. Last Thursday I picked her up at 6 AM and by 11 AM, she had a new hip joint installed. After 80 years and 4 months, the cartilage was shot. Countless articulations of the joint had eventually created a condition that was simply no longer tenable. She had been walking hunched over for months and we'd all held our collective breath waiting for the fall and subsequent broken bone. Thankfully, we've avoided that.
Today she tooled around the hall test driving the new connection. That is pretty miraculous. This little hospital on the side of the hill in Marion does a couple of these operations each week. Extrapolating this across the country would have to tally to thousands each week. Like many procedures now, its practically a drive-thru operation.
The thing is that I can't shake the whole industrial approach to medicine. Its not that I am not grateful for the advancements - I am. And the staff here has been excellent. But it comes down to the numbers. Vital signs, drip rates, blood tests, schedules, etc. all lead toward mobilizing bodies toward self-support. And I am sure there are loads of statistics that drive care and procedures. And don't even get me started on the lawyers.
I guess I am weary of our misplaced faith. Its a fine line I know. And I am trying to take care in selecting words (recognizing that I'm tired and need to tread cautiously). But if God is sovereign - which I believe He is, then I need to see Him in this. He has allowed our illnesses. He weaves our sores and cancers into a tapestry of suffering that glorifies Him - or can if we will let it. The seeds of death are planted deep within us and will in time blossom. I wish I was bolder in a faith that set God in the proper place - that of the center. Jesus healed. Jesus touched and spoke and raised up. He hasn't stopped doing it. But when I pick up the phone and call for an appointment before I raise up a single prayer - well, then what does that say of my faith?
One day, not long from now, it will be my turn. I hope that when I get the call with the bad news that my first thought is one of joy. Joy that Christ is leading me. Joy that there need not be any fear. Joy that any suffering I will face will bring me nearer to Jesus in a mystical way. Beyond understanding. Until then, may God bless the suffering. May He guide the surgeons hand. And may I never doubt His grace.
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